Some of you may know, but I celebrated my birthday on the 22nd January. It was my usual quite night in. That’s the only trouble with being Autistic, you’re not as outgoing at social events as others would like you to be. But then again, where in the rules does it say you have to have a party on your birthday. If you are reading this, and you have someone in your family who is Autistic. Don’t make them do social things if they don’t feel comfortable doing it. Trust me, pushing people like that into party’s and things are a very silly thing to do. Especially for the youngest of us with Autism. I did find it difficult recently, at my company’s Christmas do.
I’d gone there because my family had been pushing me to do more socialising. As if I don’t have enough attention every day from having to deal with customers and members of the public I don’t know. Everyone else of course was doing their usual of being loud and drinking until they wet themselves. And of course, there I was, around my table with a few people I knew. But it didn’t last long; after the dinner had finished. Everyone moved towards the dancefloor. And I was left alone at the table, feeling quite isolated. I suppose in a sense, it highlights what having a driving job entails. Isolation, the feeling of being cut off, and people not understanding your odd little ways.
Of course, all those who hadn’t moved towards the dancefloor, had moved around to other tables. I could have done the same, but I didn’t feel like I was a part of that. Not because of my personality; but because of my lack of social ques or understanding. Of course, most Aspies would have the same answer to this. If you didn’t fit there, why were you there. Answer, family and peer pressure. I didn’t want to feel like I had left people down by not going to the dinner. But at the same time, my entire system after a few hours was on point break. My whole body was telling me to get the hell out, which is what I did. Many psychologists talk about Aspies having what is know as sensory overload, or ‘TMI’.
Too much information for short. This could not be truer, as even just the slightest of trivial things can be very alarming too us. Noise and touch being the biggest. But anyhow, all in the life of an Aspie eh.
Writer, author and Workplace Aspie Veteran.